This lifestyle was a choice, a personal decision to hold me for a later time. I didn’t know what to think in the beginning, so many failed attempts to preserve myself for the one true love that God had prepared for me. How? I had been engulfed in a culture of my own lust where my emotions dictated the movement of life. Stick and move and on to the next one, and the next one soon comes with no lesson from the last. Although I perceived it as wisdom gained from previous situations, I often remained stagnant in disbelief looking at my current situation.
“How did you get here?”
I asked myself this every time knowing that God frowned on my so called achievements. That’s what it was, an achievement, the end of the chase. I got what I longed for, a woman’s embrace. But here’s the catch, I had a history of sampling. I was never one to indulge in the full meal, but rather pick at the food. All this, a decision based on my mood. Which is all cool until Karma slaps you. POW, there she goes, slaps and combos are all she knows. It was all fun in games until a brother fell in love.
Heartbreak, cool! Life goes on! Decision time! Do I go on a tear to “erase” the pain that the Ex caused? I would be lying if I said I didn’t consider it.
“I’m hurt so I’m going to hurt every girl I come across until I feel better about myself “- Me and Every other guy that has been hurt.
I mean I had done it before, why was this time different? “She doesn’t want me on to the next one,” or “I’m bored with her on to the next one.” So, why would this time be any different? The lesson that “True” Love teaches, in a culture run by lust we lose sight of what is precious. Not realizing the true purpose of love until it is lost.
IS THIS HOW I MADE GIRLS FEEL IN THE PAST?
The answer is yes, dummy.
So many left and right and with no eyes in the back of my head, I walked away in past unashamed of the pain that I caused. Until Karma SLAPPED me.So I learned the lesson, Celibacy. A guy? Aren’t you 22? Yes, it’s possible to believe despite the Guys laughing at this post.
A decision to wait til marriage.
Best decision of my life, although I can’t erase the decisions of past, I can control those in the future and the present. In only a few months I’ve been reminded of a woman’s worth. (Few days Really but who’s counting) I understood what God intended when he placed us on this earth. The reason for monogamy, and understanding the life long blessing of holy matrimony.
I understood and still understand that I can’t carry the burdens of past relationships into my future. This is unachievable if we don’t give ourselves time to heal.
So I sit and I heal.
Waiting day by day growing and developing to become a better MAN for the moment that God calls me off the shelf and tells me it’s showtime. That girl is your wife! Sheesh what a day of joy that will be.