FEAR

I got locked up at a very young age, yes, at a very young age… I was out with some friends, yeah some close friends of mines. And after a party me, my girl, and two friends walked down the Boulevard to an after party; it was obvious after hours in a sketchy part of town. I heard the spirit unction me that maybe we should call it a night.
As the feeling we all know quiet well gripped me, my lady grabbed me numbing my fears with a kiss. I marched on thinking to myself man the nights young.
See my first mistake was calling something God called finished, undone. As me and my pals march on, madness was around the corner literally, as my boys turn the corner before me and my lady…I watched as their bodies embraced bullets like rain.
My feet automatically started rolling in reverse like a cassette, but before my feet could move me, two strangers blocked our way like broad gates.
With tools that spit hate in their hands my bowels began to quake. The effects of my girls kiss was gone. But her body was in the arms of the stranger, the other two strangers who shot my goodmen named them deadmen. They came and increased the life sentence of hoplessness before me.
The stranger who bodied my girl asked me, “how far I would go to save her?” I offered him money, he denied me. I offered him my silence, he denied me. I offered him worship, he denied me. He asked me, “how much would you give up for her life?” “What do you want”, I asked. The stranger behind me asked, “give us your life… “I saw us both on a scale whose life is more valuable and worth saving they asked, yours’ or hers’.
Confused and afraid I replied “I don’t know”, looking at the tears stream down her face it’s as if I heard her say save me. Our lives are equally worth saving I said, the stranger behind me denied me. He said, “choose your life for her life or her death for your life.” I was quickly brought back to the scale and now I saw the scale lift me up as if my heart had been judged. I immediately answered kill her…The stranger smiled and pulled the trigger; I watched 3 shooting stars fall that night.
Even though my friends died I was relieved it wasn’t me, the strangers pulled off their hoodies and I was terrified to see that the strangers were  me. They grabbed me and threw me in a cell and left me with a radio tuned to a Luke 17:33, I haven’t left since.
Ibrahima Yansane

 

 

Luke 17:33     King James Version (KJV)

33 Whosoever shall seek to save his life shall lose it; and whosoever shall lose his life shall preserve it.

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